Still waiting and dying to post pictures of our son. I finally got the ok to do so, but my laptop is broken and the new one is one it's way. Hopefully this week I'll be able to post pictures of our him. In more exciting news, I have more than just those first referral pictures. One week after our match, I was surprised once again by a new picture of Kalvis. It was a bittersweet moment. My first emotion was excitement and amazement at how much he had grown! My second thought was, "Wow, look how much we have already missed". So it goes, with the roller coaster that is adoption though. You just have to have faith that for whatever reason, this is the way it is intended to be.
We enlarged our pictures into 8x10s and Kalvis' proud papa placed them in our bedroom, so he is the first site we see in the morning, and our last at night. Somewhere in the midst of staring at these pictures a new emotion crept in. An emotion that I truly didn't sense missing, until I felt it. I now look at Kalvis as I look at photos of Livija. Those maternal feelings wash over me at the site of him. It makes this wait more difficult, as I now feel an emptiness that won't be filled until he is home. At the same time, it erases any trace of doubt and fear. And fills me with a sense of awe in the fact that for whatever reason (and we may never truly understand), our son was meant to be born a world away, by a woman we may never know, and cared for by a foster mother that will help mold him as a baby into the man he is meant to become.
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