WHY KOREA?

This is probably a question that has come up for many of you. The obvious answer to international adoption would have been Latvia. However this isn't really an option for us. Not only does this process require setting up residency in Latvia, but the available situations didn't match up to our own list of priorities.

So we have researched, and attended seminars. What we learned, is that bringing a baby into your family always has risks. Whether it is international, or domestic adoption (or even biological children). The risks and unpredictability involved in domestic adoption and pursuing more biological children is not something we are comfortable with at this time. So international it is, but how do you choose a country?

We first learned about Korea at an international adoption seminar. On paper Korea had everything we had high on our list of priorities. But mostly, Korea is where we feel our child is. I've never really had that moment of clarity, feeling destined or led in some way towards something that is meant to be. Until now.

HAMBURGERS, PIRAGI AND KIMCHI

I bought myself a Korean cookbook. I know what you are thinking, "But Marcie why don't you learn to make some American dishes first". Haha, you're funny. You will be surprised to know that I actually can cook (especially if given a recipe), I just hate doing it. I figured though, that if I took the time to learn the art of the Latvian Piragi, I better learn to make a Korean Kimchi. First step is finding a Korean restaurant so we can try some Korean food, and have something to compare it to. Second step, find out what Kimchi is.

PLAN A

When we first began our adoption research I visited some adoption message boards. In these boards there was a lot of talk of Plan A. Families were very offended that someone would consider adoption to be "Plan B". I read their stories of infertility and thought, "Isn't it though?". Look how much they have spent and struggled, and mourned their infertility, isn't adoption their
"Plan B".
Then my sister got pregnant. She found a well known and respected specialist to help her through her own pregnancy difficulties. She shared my story with him. He said he wanted to meet me because he was convinced he could help me carry a baby to term. This was the answer to my prayers, i should be happy, right? I was, but not for the reasons I thought I would be. Not because I doubted him (which I did), but because I didn't know if that was what we still wanted. The truth was, I was praying for more children and that prayer was answered when we discovered international adoption. Ahh, Plan A... I get it now.

So Imants and I went out to dinner that night and I wanted to enlighten him with this amazing revelation. I explained how adoption is not "Plan B" and hoped that he would understand this crazy concept. He smiled at me in a way that made me realize that he had been aware of this all along. The only Plan A is to bring more children into our family. How that happens is irrelevant.

It sounds so simple and yet it was so hard for me to figure out. The truth is, I mourn our sons. I grievED the fact that I would not be pregnant again (yes, I'm one of the few that LOVED being pregnant). I realize now that I have NEVER felt badly of not having more biological children. It doesn't matter.
Plan A is still to bring more children into our family. It scared me when I thought that couldn't happen. When I realized that it could; closed doors began to open, the sun came out from behind the clouds, and all was right with the world again.

This is the Grumpy House

This is the first thing that Livija said to our social worker. Great first impression, right? Livija is not shy by any means, but it usually takes her a few minutes to warm up to new people. Not tonight. "This is the Grumpy House". Thanks, Liv.

When Lisa, our social worker, called to make this appointment for the homestudy she said, "don't go crazy cleaning the house, and don't be nervous". So naturally, Imants promptly took the day off of work so we could clean and stress all day prior to the meeting.

She was right, there was no need to be nervous. The meeting went great. My nerves were very quickly replaced with excitement as she told us about the process, interviewed us about what led us to adoption, and discussed the type of child we were open to (this included age and possible medical issues). She told us what to expect from our referral day, this is the day we receive information on our child. As well as what to expect from our trip to Korea. Of course she also prepared us for the wait and how to get through it when it became especially difficult, but all I could think of was seeing our child for the first time, and traveling to Korea to bring him home.

This is getting very real and very exciting. We still have a long way to go, but at least we have another step we can cross off the list... Homestudy: Check!!!

And By the way, we're a pretty happy house.

Four years ago Imants and I decided it was time to start our family. Like most couples just starting out, we imagined that this huge decision was the hard part and all that was left was the happy ending. What we soon learned is that the hard part had only just begun and we were preparing for a big roller coaster of emotions. The highs have been VERY high and the lows have been VERY low.

After having our beautiful daughter at 26 weeks, we lost our two sons to unexplained premature labor, we realized that more biological children is just not in the cards for us. We still want more children and luckily, we still believe in happy endings. So with some serious soul searching we are finally on the right path. The path to adoption is also filled with emotional ups and downs, but this time we're prepared. We're prepared and so very excited.
April 1, 2008 we stood before a county clerk, as she notarized our signatures on the application of adoption. For the first time since we made our decision to expand our little family 4 years ago, I felt confident that it would happen again. I am not naive enough to believe there won't be moments of difficulty and frustration, but I am optimistic and hopeful enough to believe that our child is out there waiting to be born into our family.

Our family and friends have celebrated us, with the birth of our daughter, prayed for us through the difficult NICU stay and offered their love and support through both our losses. I hope you'll join us again, following our story of adoption and celebrating with us as we begin our journey to Korea to bring our baby home.