Aw Shucks, Mom.

In response to my mom's comment, and the many other people that have mentioned their surprise to my emotional blog... I know I am not very candid with my emotions. (Is that an understatement?) I wanted our friends and family to experience this journey from our point of view. I want everyone to understand that life moves on, and while we are sad for what we have lost, we are hopeful for what is to come. There have been times when people have expressed their sadness when we made our big announcement. I know they only did that because it is the first time I have opened myself up, and allowed them to acknowledge our babies we lost. It is not really possible to acknowledge the adoption without also acknowledging what led us to this point. So, I created a blog, because I want people to experience this part with us. I want to share my excitement with all of you, so you can in turn celebrate it with us. Without the blog, the conversations would inevitably end with my dry ridiculous humor. Don't worry, I am not turning into some serious, deep, thoughtful person who throws around terms like "our journey" and quotes people.
I'm still here. And I still laugh to myself, picturing Corey searching for the punch line at the end of the post.

ENCOURAGEMENT FROM STRANGERS

We're all heading to the doctor this month, in a rush to tie up loose ends before the end of the year. I just went to my dentist appointment for a cleaning. I immediately confessed to the hygenist that I don't floss regularly, although I am trying so I can set a good example for Livija. She asked about Livija and if she was our only child. Typically I'd say yes and leave it at that. For some reason I said yes, and we are in the process of adopting our second. She smiled and shared with me that her children were both adopted from Korea! She even used the same agency as ours.
As I was leaving she stopped me and said that the wait can be very hard. She said that once that picture arrives and we see our baby, it will only get harder. She even compared it to the longest most painful labor in the world. BUT, she added, that once our little one comes home, you forget how hard it was.
I imagine it is like the long months waiting for Livija to come home from the NICU. You wait and you cry and you scream, while the light at the end of the tunnel seems so dim and so far away. But suddenly you've arrived. You are finally a family and you can hardly imagine what life was like before that moment. I'll keep that in mind when the picture comes. Although I imagine I won't be so rational at that point.

We are ok for now. Our agency sends out a monthly newsletter, and according to the month of December, we are still within the same timeframe we've had since the beginning. This means a match in mid to late summer. Hopefully. I won't be surprised if things change though. Korea is working very hard towards making adoption more culturally acceptable, in the hopes that they will no longer be needing to place children internationally. 2012 is the estimated date that international adoption will end in Korea. One of their steps towards reaching this goal is reducing the number of international referrals each year. There is a possibility that this will make our timeframe a bit longer.
Nothing we can do about it. We just need to remind ourselves, that while this wait can be difficult, frustrating and emotionally tolling; it is temporary. A drop in the bucket compared to the lifelong family we are building.

In unrelated news, Christmas is right around the corner. I hope you are all enjoying the season. I've included a picture of our Christmas tree.

PATIENCE

The rumor mill is working overtime, and it isn't good. I check in on our agency's adoption message boards to learn about each phase of the adoption process. The new topic that has everyone talking? LONGER wait times. I haven't specifically heard this is the case with our particular agency, but I'm preparing myself for the announcement.

DECKING THE HALLS

It's that time of year! Time to deck the halls, and get ready for Christmas. I started with the blog. I hope you like the new format. I like to change it up with the holiday or season, it makes me feel like a significant amount of time has passed and we are one step closer to our baby.
In addition to the new look, I added the "followers" section. I honestly don't really know what it means. I'm hoping it will let you know when I have updated, since they are sometimes quite infrequent, and I don't want you to forget about us. I also don't really know how one becomes a follower, so good luck with that. As you can tell, I am not exactly a computer genius. If you are reading my blog, and you know more about what this new feature is, feel free to share with the rest of us!

I am going to go and decorate the rest of the house! I'll add pictures once we're done. I hope everyone is busy getting into the holiday spirit.

GIVING THANKS

"Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow."
~ Melody Beattie ~

This Thanksgiving I feel blessed. I feel grateful for my life, my family, my amazing husband, and our beautiful daughter. I feel incredibly overjoyed that we were chosen to embark on this journey of adoption. I feel honored that we belong to friends and family that support us in each step we take, towards completing our family.

This Thanksgiving I thank all of you for being a part of our lives.

GETTING EXCITED!

Whenever people inquire about how difficult the waiting is, I answer the same way... Right now everything is so far off, it kind of seems hypothetical to me. I'm sure as we get closer, and especially after a referral it will be torture, but for now it's ok.
WELL, this week things became less hypothetical. It's sinking in. I am so excited. I'm researching carriers and thinking of nurseries. I even picked out a pair of baby boy shoes. I won't buy anything until a referral (as instructed by Imants), but it's so much fun looking!
I know I'm going to come crashing down after this high. But for now it's so much fun.